How anyone can stop being afraid of becoming a parent and start looking forward to it

Ondrej Svoboda
5 min readSep 6, 2022

When I was to become a father, I tried to prepare for that somehow. I knew a lot of things will change but it was hard to imagine how. I like to have my life under control, sometimes too much, so I wanted to control the new period as well.

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I bought some books on parenting, read many articles and forums trying to find out what to do when I become a father, how I should function in that new role, and most importantly how to be a good father. And how to make sure everyone at home survives, of course.

It was interesting how much contradictive advice there is. I bet you would find someone claiming it’s best to bungee jump with the baby early so they will get used to adrenalin and be more successful in the future. On the other hand, you would also find someone claiming it’s dangerous for babies to start walking because they could fall and have big heads and their center of gravity is too high.

They have big heads compared to the body but it’s kind of cute.

Image courtesy of the author

I tended to take all advice trustworthy but then I started to realize that different people and even experts are sometimes claiming opposites.

There are some topics where I found a consensus, such as it’s good to breastfeed for at least six months, be a loving parent, not give a mobile phone as a gift for the first birthday, etc.

But I needed to figure out how to be a good parent on my own. It’s an ongoing process but some things helped me to calm down and realize it won’t be that bad.

Monkeys

In some ways, children are like monkeys. Or Parrots. I was a monkey too, you were a monkey too, we all were like monkeys. It’s still somewhere in our genes and some of us sometimes behave like we were still monkeys. And as monkey see, monkey do, also baby see, baby do.

So the first thing you need to do is to get yourself together and think about what you do in your life, how you behave, and what person you are. Are you OK with your child behaving the same way you are? If…

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Ondrej Svoboda

Smart home enthusiast, Team leader in IT, Technophile, Proud parent, Improv practitioner, Latent filmmaker and magician, Multipotentialite